I was talking to Arnold Shafritz tonight and someone asked how to spell his last name. He said “S-H-A” and “Fritz”
I said “Like the chess program? Maybe you should change your name to Arnold Sha-rybka”
I said “Like the chess program? Maybe you should change your name to Arnold Sha-rybka”
I was at a recent tournament and the site of super-active IM Jay Bonin reminded me of my opposite experience. So I said to my friend:
“You know, I think I am the US-born master with the fewest number of USCF-rated slow games in a lifetime, only about 350.”
Jay overheard this and turned around:
“I play that many in six months!”
“You know, I think I am the US-born master with the fewest number of USCF-rated slow games in a lifetime, only about 350.”
Jay overheard this and turned around:
“I play that many in six months!”
The year was 1968. We were on our way to a match with Wilmington Chess Club. NM Rich Pariseau was driving and someone asked “Rich, how would you play in a game where you were down a piece but did not resign?”
“I would throw all my pieces at his king. If it works, then I win. If it did not, then I was losing anyway!”
Good advice!
“I would throw all my pieces at his king. If it works, then I win. If it did not, then I was losing anyway!”
Good advice!
A friend needed a TD and could not leave the board because he feared his opponent might illegally re-start his clock. His “elegant” solution, which worked perfectly, was to yell
“Tournament Director!!”
…as loud as possible from his board.
It disturbed everyone in the room, but got the job done, and I did not blame him one bit. As a TD, I would not punish a player who did so out of the (admittedly rare) necessity.
“Tournament Director!!”
…as loud as possible from his board.
It disturbed everyone in the room, but got the job done, and I did not blame him one bit. As a TD, I would not punish a player who did so out of the (admittedly rare) necessity.
This happened in one of the first Philadelphia Invitational Championships. One of my friends, X, who was widely feared for his enormous book knowledge, was paired with one of the favorites, a lifelong master. X had prepared a dangerous book line for White which either led to a forced draw or wins the Queen. Sure enough, X won the Queen and the game. When asked about the game afterwards, the favorite replied:
“I didn’t lose to X, I lost to the Book!”
“I didn’t lose to X, I lost to the Book!”
When I was a teenager, we were playing in a tournament in NYC and found ourselves in a diner for lunch. Two of my colleagues were having the dubious argument as to who was the worse tipper. The waitress overheard the conversation and came over to confront them:
“If you worked here, you would want a tip!” was her argument. This did not faze one of them, who immediately replied:
“I wouldn’t work here!”
“If you worked here, you would want a tip!” was her argument. This did not faze one of them, who immediately replied:
“I wouldn’t work here!”
This one happened in October 1966. I was playing in the Quaker City Open and many of the players were watching the World Series between Baltimore and Los Angeles in the other room. After the final game, one of the players marched into the tournament room and announced,
“It’s all over! Baltimore has won!”
Another player, obviously not a sports fan but well known for his quick temper, walked over to the announcer and banged his fists on the table, demanding:
“What, may I ask, what has this got to do with chess?”
The announcer, who was aware of the other’s reputation, looked worried for a second, but thought fast and replied:
“You mean you have never heard of Grandmaster Baltimore?”
“It’s all over! Baltimore has won!”
Another player, obviously not a sports fan but well known for his quick temper, walked over to the announcer and banged his fists on the table, demanding:
“What, may I ask, what has this got to do with chess?”
The announcer, who was aware of the other’s reputation, looked worried for a second, but thought fast and replied:
“You mean you have never heard of Grandmaster Baltimore?”
When I was in college two of our better players liked to play 5-minute chess against each other. One – let’s call him “Dave”, would always play slow and deliberately, trying to find the best move. The other, “Louis”, tried to budget his time correctly so that he would not lose on time – even if he had to play somewhat inferior moves. The result was that Louis usually won on time, often with a somewhat inferior position.
One day after chess club we were going to get pizza David, in usual usual inimitable manner, was saying to Louis, “You know, in that last game we played (which Louis, as usual, won on time), I had great pressure on f7. I just double Rooks on the 7th rank, and when you guard it with …Rf8, I just push up my pawn and you can’t defend f7 any more and I win!”
Louis, who had heard this a million times before, finally couldn’t stand it any more. He stopped walking toward the pizza shop and whirled to confront his foe, “BUT DAVE…,” he said pointedly, “…ANYONE CAN PLAY LIKE A GRANDMASTER IN SIX MINUTES!!”
One day after chess club we were going to get pizza David, in usual usual inimitable manner, was saying to Louis, “You know, in that last game we played (which Louis, as usual, won on time), I had great pressure on f7. I just double Rooks on the 7th rank, and when you guard it with …Rf8, I just push up my pawn and you can’t defend f7 any more and I win!”
Louis, who had heard this a million times before, finally couldn’t stand it any more. He stopped walking toward the pizza shop and whirled to confront his foe, “BUT DAVE…,” he said pointedly, “…ANYONE CAN PLAY LIKE A GRANDMASTER IN SIX MINUTES!!”